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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?